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Joy To The World The Big Man’s Dead
(Sung to the tune of “Joy To The World)
Joy to the world
That Barney’s dead
We barbecued his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty
Down into the sewer, straight into the manure
Round and round it goes!Five years later, chewin’ on his underwear
Wish he had another pair
Eaten by a polar bear!
Chewin’ on his underwearNine years later, had another barbecue
I had to go to the restroom
I run up the stairs and look in the toilet
And there was Barney’s head!Joy to the world
That Barney’s dead
We barbecued his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty
Round and round it goes like Indiana Jones
We watched it go round and round!
I Hate You
(Sung to the tune of “This Old Man”)
I hate you
You hate me
Let’s tie Barney to a tree
With an M16 and a pistol full of lead
We just shot off Barney’s headI hate you
You hate me
Barney gave you H.I.V.
So we punched him in the balls and shot him in the head
Now that purple thing is deadI hate you
You hate me
Lets all go and kill Barney
With a baseball bat
And a Four-by-Four
No more purple dinosaurI hate you
You Hate Me
Let’s tie Barney to a tree!
I’ll get the match,
You get the gasoline,
Light the match and watch him scream.I hate you
You hate me
We’re a racist family
So let’s kill that big, fat freak they call Barney
Then we will be more happyI hate you,
You hate me
Let’s hang Barney from a tree
With a knife, and a gun, and a bullet through his head
Till that purple thing is deadI hate you,
You hate me
The ratel army killed Barney
With a gun and a tank and 12 atomic bombs
We’re all glad that Barney’s goneI hate you,
You hate me
Lets tie Barnie to a tree
Stab him in the back shoot him in the head
Now the purple thing is dead
On Top of Old Oakey
(Sung to the tune of “On Top Of Old Smokey”)
On Top of a old oakey
All covered in blood
I shot evil Barney
With a .500 studI went to his fun’ral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenadeNow Sorry for Barney
all covered in red
And now you can all see
that Barney is deadI dug up the body
and cloned the remains
And just for the pleasure
I killed him again
Deck the Halls
(A violent Christmas favorite)
Deck the Halls with bloody dino
Hahahahahahahahaha
See the nuke charge like a rhino
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney’s dead on Christmas day
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now There’s nothing left to say
HahahahahahahahahaEvil mind controller’s gone
Hahahahahahahahaha
His remains lay on the lawn
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now the world is safe again
Hahahahahahahahaha
No more counting one through ten
HahahahahahahahahaBarney’s evil scheme is ruined
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now the studio is suin’
Hahahahahahahahaha
Oops! They ran out in less than an hour
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney has lost all his power
HahahahahahahahahaDeck the halls with heads of Barney
Hahahahahahahahaha
Serves him right for being crummy
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now let’s sing this song again
Hahahahahahahahaha
This song shall never end
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney Opening Theme Song
Barney was a dinosaur
from our imagination,
Put him in the microwave,
He’ll die from radiation!Barney was a dinosaur
From our imagination,
He stuck a pencil up his arse
And died from constipation!
Jingle Bells
(Another violent Christmas favorite)
Dashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Downhill Barney goes
Crashing into trees
The snow is turning red
We think he’s almost dead
Now let’s go get a two-by-four and hit him on the headJingle Bells, shotgun shells
Purple dino’s dead
We struck him with a two-by-four
And shot him in the headBaby Bop, Baby Bop
Tried to save his life
But an action man from Pakistan
Stabbed her with a knife
Row Your Boat
(Especially fun around the campfire)
Row, row, row, your boat
gently down the stream
Push Barney overboard
And listen to him screamFive days later
he rose from the dead
took a 12-gauge shotgun
and blew off his head
ABCs
(Just for fun!)
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Barney is my enemy!
Hit ‘im with a piece of lead
Now we know that Barney’s dead!
Now you know I hate Barney
Next time won’t you sing with me!
