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Joy To The World The Big Man’s Dead

(Sung to the tune of “Joy To The World)

Joy to the world
That Barney’s dead
We barbecued his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty
Down into the sewer, straight into the manure
Round and round it goes!

Five years later, chewin’ on his underwear
Wish he had another pair
Eaten by a polar bear!
Chewin’ on his underwear

Nine years later, had another barbecue
I had to go to the restroom
I run up the stairs and look in the toilet
And there was Barney’s head!

Joy to the world
That Barney’s dead
We barbecued his head!
What happened to his body?
We flushed it down the potty
Round and round it goes like Indiana Jones
We watched it go round and round!

 

I Hate You

(Sung to the tune of “This Old Man”)

I hate you
You hate me
Let’s tie Barney to a tree
With an M16 and a pistol full of lead
We just shot off Barney’s head

I hate you
You hate me
Barney gave you H.I.V.
So we punched him in the balls and shot him in the head
Now that purple thing is dead

I hate you
You hate me
Lets all go and kill Barney
With a baseball bat
And a Four-by-Four
No more purple dinosaur

I hate you
You Hate Me
Let’s tie Barney to a tree!
I’ll get the match,
You get the gasoline,
Light the match and watch him scream.

I hate you
You hate me
We’re a racist family
So let’s kill that big, fat freak they call Barney
Then we will be more happy

I hate you,
You hate me
Let’s hang Barney from a tree
With a knife, and a gun, and a bullet through his head
Till that purple thing is dead

I hate you,
You hate me
The ratel army killed Barney
With a gun and a tank and 12 atomic bombs
We’re all glad that Barney’s gone

I hate you,
You hate me
Lets tie Barnie to a tree
Stab him in the back shoot him in the head
Now the purple thing is dead

 

On Top of Old Oakey

(Sung to the tune of “On Top Of Old Smokey”)

On Top of a old oakey
All covered in blood
I shot evil Barney
With a .500 stud

I went to his fun’ral
I went to his grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw a grenade

Now Sorry for Barney
all covered in red
And now you can all see
that Barney is dead

I dug up the body
and cloned the remains
And just for the pleasure
I killed him again

 

Deck the Halls

(A violent Christmas favorite)

Deck the Halls with bloody dino
Hahahahahahahahaha
See the nuke charge like a rhino
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney’s dead on Christmas day
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now There’s nothing left to say
Hahahahahahahahaha

Evil mind controller’s gone
Hahahahahahahahaha
His remains lay on the lawn
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now the world is safe again
Hahahahahahahahaha
No more counting one through ten
Hahahahahahahahaha

Barney’s evil scheme is ruined
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now the studio is suin’
Hahahahahahahahaha
Oops! They ran out in less than an hour
Hahahahahahahahaha
Barney has lost all his power
Hahahahahahahahaha

Deck the halls with heads of Barney
Hahahahahahahahaha
Serves him right for being crummy
Hahahahahahahahaha
Now let’s sing this song again
Hahahahahahahahaha
This song shall never end
Hahahahahahahahaha

 

Barney Opening Theme Song

Barney was a dinosaur
from our imagination,
Put him in the microwave,
He’ll die from radiation!

Barney was a dinosaur
From our imagination,
He stuck a pencil up his arse
And died from constipation!

 

Jingle Bells

(Another violent Christmas favorite)

Dashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Downhill Barney goes
Crashing into trees
The snow is turning red
We think he’s almost dead
Now let’s go get a two-by-four and hit him on the head

Jingle Bells, shotgun shells
Purple dino’s dead
We struck him with a two-by-four
And shot him in the head

Baby Bop, Baby Bop
Tried to save his life
But an action man from Pakistan
Stabbed her with a knife

 

Row Your Boat

(Especially fun around the campfire)

Row, row, row, your boat
gently down the stream
Push Barney overboard
And listen to him scream

Five days later
he rose from the dead
took a 12-gauge shotgun
and blew off his head

 

ABCs

(Just for fun!)

A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Barney is my enemy!
Hit ‘im with a piece of lead
Now we know that Barney’s dead!
Now you know I hate Barney
Next time won’t you sing with me!

17 Comments

  1. Tic-Tack-Toe three in a roe barney got shot by a g-i-joe. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said: Oops Barneys dead shot in the head, blood on the walls, guts in the halls, oops barneys dead.

  2. This up above is another Anti-Barney song. That I have known for a while.

  3. Lol Hahahahahaha

  4. They are really funny! But why choose Barney?
    Isnt the Teletubbies just as annoying? :D

  5. YA TELE TUBBIES LOL XO

  6. I hate you, you hate me, lets get together and kill barney, with a knife in the back now barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosour

    That is one of my personaly favs, next to the G.I Joe one

    • Someone.......
    • Posted September 13, 2009 at 10:17 am
    • Permalink
    • Reply

    I hate you, you hate me
    Let’s all gang up on Barney
    With an M-16 and a 4 by 4
    No more purple dinosaur.

    • that is funny as hell!!! but silent is right why not choose teletubies.

  7. I have another one:
    I hate you
    You hate me
    Let’s get together and kill Barney
    With a nuclear missle nd tape it to his head
    In 3 seconds he’ll be dead

  8. I hate you;
    You Hate me!
    We all hate Barney!
    With a BING! And a BANG!
    From my Magnum .44!
    No more Purple Dinosaur!

  9. I had another start in mind:

  10. I have a new idea:

  11. I hate you, you hate me, let’s team up and kill Barney!

    That was a start to one I heard a long time ago, now I have no idea what the end was. That’s why I came here:)

  12. Sorry that kept happening above…

  13. Still, these are so funny!

  14. Oh and Teletubbies seriously aren’t as bad as Barney is, believe me.

  15. Am I too annoying? Sorry.


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